


Jealous Little Thoughts

by FaeriexQueen



Series: Yulma Week 2020 [3]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Apologies, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Fights, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeriexQueen/pseuds/FaeriexQueen
Summary: Kanda realized he crossed a line. He realized the moment he saw Alma’s expression. (Modern AU)
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Alma Karma
Series: Yulma Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759696
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	Jealous Little Thoughts

The door swung open violently as Alma hurried into the apartment. A twisted, angry scowl marred his boyish features, his blue eyes sparking heatedly. The sight was unusual. Alma was not one to get volatile often, but tonight he had been pushed to his limit – so much that he nearly slammed the door on the person right behind him.  
  
Swiftly, Kanda caught the door. He glared at Alma as he shut it behind him with a loud _slam_. “Stop acting all pissy-“  
  
Alma whirled around, eyes scathing. “ _I’m_ acting pissy?” he exclaimed, tone laced in offense. “You’re the one who started a fight – I can’t believe you did that while we were out!”  
  
Kanda gnashed his teeth, seething. “Tch. I didn’t even want to go out in the first place!”  
  
“You _never do_ ,” Alma pointed out. “Ever! What’s the point of having friends if we don’t _do_ anything with them!?”  
  
“The hell? We do enough shit with them!” Kanda argued. “And who the fuck were all the extra people? Beansprout was there, and he had to drag along that shithole-“  
  
Alma rolled his eyes, before he glowered at Kanda. “They have _names_ , Yuu – _Allen and Tyki_. Maybe you should use them more often!”  
  
Kanda sneered. “I’ll call them like I see them,” he said, kicking off his shoes. “They’re both trouble – shithole especially-“  
  
“Can you just _stop_?” Alma asked. “Tyki didn’t even do anything and you _punched him_ – you punched him! And you got us kicked out of the bar! Do you have any idea how _embarrassing_ that was!?”  
  
Kanda glowered as he brushed past Alma. He ripped off his jacket, discarding it onto the couch as he began to stalk off.  
  
“Yuu, I’m not done talking!”  
  
“I’m done listening.”  
  
Alma glared. Clumsily, he took off his shoes, face red and expression contorted into an angry pout.  
  
Kanda had already gone back into the bedroom as he began to change out of his clothes. The shirt was stained from spilt whiskey – an unfortunate result of the brawl that he had gotten into. His nose crinkled in disgust as he caught the blatant whiff of fireball, and quickly removed the shirt to discard it.  
  
Alma walked into the bedroom – the one that he and Kanda shared. His expression still brimmed with anger as he too began to change out of his clothes, his motions aggressive as he tore the articles of clothing off. Going to the dresser, he got a change of nightclothes, with his hand slamming the drawers shut after going through them.  
  
Kanda winced at the noise, and glared at Alma. “Can you fucking _not_ do that?”  
  
“Do _what_?” Alma asked, words cool.  
  
“Just – fucking acting like some stupid five-year-old!” Kanda snapped. “We’re already back, so just get over it-“  
  
Alma stood as he turned to Kanda sharply. “I’m _not_ getting over it!” Alma broke, voice already rising once more. “I’m not getting over the fact that you just flew off the handle for _no reason_!”  
  
Kanda gritted his teeth. His fists balled up so much that the knuckles turned white. “I had a reason, and it’s because shithole was being a creep!”  
  
Alma balked, completely taken aback by the accusation. “What? No, he wasn’t! You’re just saying that because you don’t like him!”  
  
“You’re right – I _don’t_ like him!” Kanda shouted. “And he _was_ being a creep – he had his damn hands all over you! What the fuck was that!?”  
  
“Oh my god, he was being _friendly_ , Yuu! He’s just more physically affectionate!”  
  
“Tch. That was more than friendly,” Kanda grumbled, as he took his hair tie out. “Fucking whatever. Next time I won’t punch shithole when he’s being handsy since you seemed to like it so much-”  
  
Alma inhaled sharply, causing Kanda to stop. He turned, his attention immediately landing on Alma, whose face was red and eyes glassy.  
  
Abruptly, Kanda realized that he had crossed a line.  
  
He tried to backtrack. “Alma-“  
  
“You’re a jerk,” Alma said, voice low as he cut Kanda off. Hurriedly, Alma took his fresh change of clothes and rushed out of the bedroom.  
  
Kanda cursed under his breath, and he tried to follow Alma. “Alma, _wait_ -“  
  
Alma didn’t listen, as he bolted into the bathroom. He slammed the door shut before Kanda could reach it, the lock clicking into place.  
  
Kanda stopped just outside of the door. Although he had heard the lock, he tried to open it, but to no avail. He exhaled heavily.  
  
“Alma,” Kanda started. He ran his hands over his face. “Alma, I didn’t mean…”  
  
Kanda trailed off. It was too late now, and the words had done their damage. Kanda’s mouth had run away with him, and now Alma was locked in the bathroom and would probably refuse to come out until who-knew-when.  
  
Exhaling, Kanda leaned his forehead against the door. He couldn’t even hear Alma on the other side, with the air having gone completely still. Kanda felt a slight compulsion to break it – even if he didn’t usually mind silences, this one was agonizing.  
  
A few seconds passed, and Kanda thought better of doing such. Pulling away from the door he opted to leave Alma be.  
  
Kanda headed back into the bedroom, throwing a tank top on. As he did this, he could faintly hear some shuffling in the bathroom before he heard sound of the shower starting up.  
  
Kanda ignored it. Knowing Alma, he’d be in the shower for a while – especially with how upset he was now.  
  
Expression twisting into a scowl, Kanda scoffed under his breath. He moved into the living room, falling down onto the couch limply. His jacket was still thrown over the back of it, but Kanda didn’t bother to put it up yet – then again, maybe he should. Alma would probably be even more agitated if Kanda didn’t hang it up.  
  
Taking his jacket, Kanda got up to stick it on the coat hanger. The pocket buzzed, and Kanda realized he had left his cell phone in there. Swiftly, he took it out, frowning as he saw the two text alerts on his phone.  
  
 ** _Lenalee 11:15PM:_** _Hey, are you and Alma okay? I tried to text him but he’s not responding, and he was pretty upset when you guys left…  
  
 **Lavi 11:21PM:** Dude, what happened?? You totally lost it with Tyki – I think Allen mentioned you might have broken his nose._  
  
Kanda scoffed under his breath, as he shut off the text alerts. So what if he had broken Tyki’s nose? It served him right for being so damn handsy on Alma…  
  
 _“He was being_ friendly _, Yuu! He’s just more physically affectionate!”_  
  
Kanda wanted to roll his eyes, as Alma’s words echoed in his ears. Alma could try to argue that Tyki was just “physically affectionate” all he wanted, but Kanda wasn’t stupid – he had _seen_ the way Tyki looked at Alma all night, and it had been downright infuriating. Granted, it hadn’t been the first time this had happened. Tyki always seemed to be eying Alma whenever he was around, and Kanda had _tried_ to bite his tongue for the sake of not upsetting Alma. But when Tyki had gotten the gall to slip his arm over Alma’s shoulder…  
  
Yeah. Tyki had definitely been more than a little “friendly.”  
  
Crossing his arms, Kanda leaned back onto the couch. He knew that he was stewing, and that he probably shouldn’t have been. It would only piss him off even more, and the last thing Kanda needed to was to cross anymore lines with Alma once he got out of the shower.   
  
_‘He’ll probably be in there forever…’_ Kanda thought, as his gaze flickered to the bathroom door. Sure enough, the shower was still running.  
  
Kanda didn’t do anything, as he remained there on the couch for the next half hour or so. He wasn’t much of a reader, and he definitely didn’t feel like turning the TV on. No, he was too agitated with all that had happened, so he would take the quiet while he could.  
  
Eventually, Kanda was beginning to feel a bit twitchy. The shower was still going, with Alma making no signs of getting out. A bit exasperated, Kanda got off the couch as he moved into the bedroom. Maybe he would just go to sleep – it was already close to midnight, and he was tired enough as it was.  
  
He got into bed, not even bothering to pull the covers over him. He simply got on his side on his half the bed, with his body facing the wall. Maybe if Kanda was lucky, he would fall asleep quickly.  
  
A few more minutes passed. Kanda had tried to close his eyes, but the sound of the shower stopping caused him to become alert once more.  
  
He didn’t turn. Kanda could hear the bathroom door opening though, just as the sound of Alma walking quietly into the bedroom followed. Even with how soft Alma’s footsteps were, Kanda noticed a pause in Alma’s movement – almost as though he was hesitating with something. Kanda wondered if Alma was debating on even getting into bed.  
  
The thought was quick, and felt like a jagged blade striking into Kanda’s heart.  
  
A few more agonizing seconds passed, and Kanda could feel the shift in the mattress as Alma got onto his side. Alma hadn’t turned the lamplight off yet though, and Kanda felt an inclination to turn to face him. However, he remained still – almost as though his muscles were locked in place.  
  
Again, Kanda found himself thinking of Alma’s expression just before he had locked himself in the bathroom.  
  
A frown tugged at Kanda’s lips, as he looked over at the wall. He knew that Alma likely hadn’t fallen asleep yet – a fact which only made the silence in the room all the more uncomfortable. Alma was usually so much chattier; hearing him be this quiet was _deafening_.  
  
Bitterly, Kanda thought to what had happened earlier. Well, maybe he had overreacted with Tyki a bit but…  
  
His body felt tense as he tried to muster up the words. Kanda’s lungs strained as the words lodged themselves in his throat. _‘Come on...’_  
  
“Hey,” Kanda finally managed, the words somewhat stiff. He had yet to turn around as he remained on his side.  
  
There was no response, and Kanda bit back and exasperated sigh.   
  
“Look, I…didn’t mean to fuck up our night out. I just got really pissed off,” Kanda forced out, the words feeling like sand that he was trying to roll off his tongue. Then, somewhat rigidly, he added, “I’m sorry.”  
  
There was still no reply, and Kanda silently began to worry. Shit, how upset was Alma going to be? He knew he had messed up, but if Alma was going to ignore him like this then Kanda wondered if it would be better for him to sleep on the couch or something – the tension was _palpable_.  
  
Exhaling, Kanda was about to force himself up. However, he stopped just as he heard Alma speak.  
  
“You were really mean tonight, Yuu.”  
  
Kanda remained still. He didn’t even try to say anything, as he could hear Alma take a small, shuddering breath – the kind he took whenever he was trying to keep from getting too wound up.  
  
Another small breath, and Alma continued. “I know you get angry, but...but you don’t have to go around _punching_ people and acting like that,” Alma said. “Even if you don’t get along with everyone, they’re still my friends…”  
  
Kanda didn’t say anything. There was a small frown on his face, as he continued to keep his attention on the bedroom wall, with Alma’s words nipping at his core. Yes, things had gotten out of hand. Yes, Kanda had probably taken too much shit out on everyone else…  
  
“I don’t like Tyki as more than a friend.”  
  
Kanda tensed. His jaw tightened, and he immediately turned defensive as he pushed himself onto his elbows. “I never said that-“  
  
“Didn’t you?” Alma asked. He turned over, just so that he met Kanda’s gaze. When he did, Kanda could see that Alma’s eyes were still misty and pink – a sign that he must have been crying earlier. “You basically accused me of that when you said I seemed to like how _handsy_ he was being.”  
  
Kanda clamped his mouth shut. He looked off to the side, shoulders rigid. “That…that came out wrong,” he forced, the worse terse as the pushed through his lips. “It’s just…”  
  
Kanda struggled with his words. He felt Alma’s eyes on him, and Kanda found himself thinking of Alma, crying in the shower and torn up over the thoughtless things Kanda had said. The realization only made Kanda feel all the lousier, even with how needled he had felt earlier.  
  
Finally, Kanda forced himself to speak. “I was just already ticked off enough when I saw how he kept looking at you all night. And I don’t know, you didn’t seem bothered when he was being all physical and I…”  
  
Again, Kanda trailed off. As he spoke aloud, he just couldn’t help but notice how annoyingly insecure and _jealous_ he sounded. It made him want to cringe, and just disappear right there.  
  
Alma blinked as he looked off to the side. He bit his lip. “Yuu…I’m physically affectionate with _all_ of our friends,” he pointed out. “That’s just how I am…it doesn’t bother me, and even if Tyki liked me in that way I don’t like him like that…”  
  
There was an uneasy pause, before Alma posed another question – this one quiet, and even a bit timid. “Do you…really think I’d…?”  
  
Kanda turned back to Alma swiftly. His eyes brimmed with guilt, as he saw how devastated Alma looked. “No,” he rushed, before he turned away. “No, I…I don’t think that.”  
  
Alma chewed on his lip some more, eyes dubious as he kept his gaze averted.  
  
Kanda chanced a glance at Alma, expression still penitent. A thin frown on remained his lips. “I really am sorry about tonight,” he offered, words a bit gentler. “I know I can’t really make that up to you…”  
  
Alma turned his body, the movement unexpected. Before Kanda could even blink, Alma had suddenly wrapped his arms around Kanda’s waist, nestling his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder. Somewhat stunned, Kanda stared, dumbstruck into silence.  
  
Alma held onto Kanda, as he tugged Kanda down so that they were lying on their sides. As they did this, Alma pressed his body even closer against Kanda’s.  
  
“I’ll always love you, Yuu,” Alma murmured. “I don’t want you to ever worry I won’t…”  
  
There was a slight crack in Alma’s voice, and protectively Kanda wrapped his arms around him. A penitent knife seemed to twist itself into his core, as he ran his fingers through Alma’s damp her.  
  
“I know,” Kanda said. “I know…”  
  
Alma didn’t say anything else. He only continued to cling to Kanda as they held each other in bed.  
  
Silently, Kanda promised himself that he would somehow do better. Try to be better. One little apology wouldn’t be enough, and it would be no good unless Kanda did something about it.  
  
Alma deserved that much.

**Author's Note:**

> Yulma Week 2020 Day 3, Ophiuchus: Unity | Death | Resurrection | Passion | Jealousy 
> 
> A part of me has always wanted to write about some of the harder things Kanda and Alma may deal with, so I sort of used this prompt as a way to do that. As much as I love this ship and how soft they can be, I feel like there is the possibility for a lot of jealousy, possessiveness, and insecurities in their relationship. ;__; But I like to think that they’d do their best to work through it together.
> 
> A bit of a heavier piece, but I hope you enjoyed it all the same. Thank you for reading. <3


End file.
